Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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