what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
