I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize