ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
