Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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