Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
