Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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