only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
