and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
