Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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