We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
