My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
