Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
