Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
