And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
