just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
