the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
