I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
