its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I puked a lego.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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