when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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