I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
not ubering you a puppy
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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