Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
