I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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