She's JV to your varsity
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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