u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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