At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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