I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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