im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Michael Bay diarrhea
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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