Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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