Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
