my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
