my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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