She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
