And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
