is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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