Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
