Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
