I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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