Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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