There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
