So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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