bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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