In the future we'll all be gay
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
There's always time for handjobs
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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