He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
