I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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