sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
