yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
