your parents love me but you hate me
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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