Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
