I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
