As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize