I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
