TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
