woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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