just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
