Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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