your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
