I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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