Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Never underestimate the power of titties
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