I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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